The Official Male Sensitivity Test

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a. Lovemaking.
b. Screwing.
c. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
b. Your blood-test results.
c. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
a. Your partner climaxes first.
b. You both climax simultaneously
c. You don't miss the start of the match.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a. Healthy, creative love-play.
b. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
c. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a. The best part of the experience.
b. The second best part of the experience.
c. £50 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
b. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
c. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a. A myth.
b. An oxymoron.
c. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a. An appetizer is to entree.
b. Primer is to paint.
c. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a. "I hope we can still be friends."
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
b. Is uptight and a waste of time.
c. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Results:

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy;  you're a little confused.
If you answered "C" more than 7 times: "You DA MAN!!"